What is Self-Esteem ?
There is a lot said and written about Self-Esteem – but what’s self-esteem anyway? First, the obvious: There is a feeling that one has in relation to its own value. A person who recognizes its own value and is estimated has a healthy self-esteem. A man who denies his own worth and self deems worthless has low self-esteem.
Self-esteem is most probably one of the greatest secrets to success in life, whether in personal, sentimental or professional level. Who does not know how to appreciate yourself, enhance their own qualities, have confidence and respect for themselves, hardly know to stand in front of the challenges that everyday life imposes.
And self-esteem is just that, whether looking, identifying the qualities, without arrogance nor false modesty.
How self-esteem works
The self-esteem works like an internal shield. It is inseparable from the faith in their own possibilities.
People with a healthy self-esteem are convinced to themselves and influence their environment. This belief is supplied with power and energy, and he makes it at all possible to overcome difficulties and challenges.
“If we do not believe in ourselves, not because we still basically good, are effective yet lovable, the world in which we live, a fearsome and cold place,” writes the Californian psychotherapist Nathaniel Branden.
Recognition from the outside affects the self-esteem because of what man is and does, he wants appreciation.
This begins in earliest childhood.
Often the reasons for a low self-esteem in childhood, when their own needs have not been met. The parents come in the development of a healthy self-esteem is particularly important: they are the first that can convey you that you are a valuable person who is loved. This will strengthen from the inside out and gives security.
But the handling of the parents with the child plays a role. Lacked a respectful treatment and one was ridiculed or embarrassed as a child, takes hurt self-esteem. They then developed the belief that one is just as one is not correct.
This conviction remains even as an adult.
The consequences of low self-esteem:
- It remains below its potential.
- It is located in a vicious circle, because one does not dare to a goal to reach and because it does not trust, you really achieved it will not end.
- Man avoids situations that new and unfamiliar are.
Overcome self-doubt: How do you strengthen your self-esteem
Who does not believe in himself and his abilities, is not convinced of what he or she can do and create whatever he or she carries herself, which will achieve in his life not as much as he could.
You radiate success even out, pomp and circumstance start but always inside. One only has to look around: In fact, one almost all the great figures of history that they believed (without limitation) per se. And that was not what was laid them in the cradle. They had to learn it. And that can everyone else. The main lessons to:
Take compliments with pleasure.
Those who have a low self-esteem, which the particularly difficult. In his famous inaugural Nelson Mandela said in 1994: “It is not our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most, we ask ourselves. Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and powerful” It is this doubt torment many people. Receive a compliment, still takes place at the same moment a defensive reaction. “So I can be mean impossible.” The damning judgement that you have made about the own person, prevented, which is accepted the compliment. But Mandela also knew the solution to this problem: “question rather: What are you doing to all not to be?” Ask yourself this question repeatedly. It will help you to accept compliments.
Listen to, to compare themselves with others.
Continually compare with others makes them unhappy in the long run and promoting self-doubt.”Why can not I have what he has?”, “Why am I not so successful?”or “Why did not I such a beautiful house?” – Ultimately come most to the conclusion that they do not deserve it, or do anything wrong. We tend to exaggerate the other and do not see the big picture.Your self-esteem should come from within and not be dependent on to perform better in comparison with others.
Compare yourself with yourself. Instead of wanting to be equal to or better than someone, be better than yourself. Search evolve every day and make retrospective to find out if this is really happening.
Look at what you can – everyone can do something.
Envision your strengths and successes. Here there is no mention of it, to tell himself plump “I’m great,” or “I am strong” but is very concrete to lead situations in mind, where one was proud of himself. Can you think of anything right away, a, because many people tend to block out and to say, because there is nothing, ask your family and friends afterwards.
Arrange small sense of achievement.
Put yourself realistic, achievable goals and record your progress. The fact that you take responsibility and see success, you strengthen the faith in their own abilities. For example, to log on to the team meeting to speak or submit a proposal. Make the experience to be taken by the boss and colleagues seriously at such a moment, you motivates to take on new challenges, because you believe in it, to be able to cope with these as well.
Arm yourself for critical situations.
Everyone has already experienced a situation that has brought shaken self-esteem, for example, an insult or rejection of a fellow human being. Do you remember such situations.Pick up those out that have occurred frequently and listen to them in thought again by. For example, a customer who strikes often in his criticism below the belt. Often one is dissatisfied with their own response in such situations. How would you like responding?Define for yourself a limit that can not exceed. Insert your way words for such a situation.This gives security.
Appease the inner critic.
Every time you go again hard with himself to the court and feel like a failure, try the situation from the outside look at. How would you react if the same thing had happened to a friend? For other people react many empathetic and are less audible. Try to treat yourself the way you would treat a friend.
Help your fellow man.
The psychologist Jennifer Crocker of the University of Michigan conducted an experiment in which they observed students who shared an apartment. A roommate had the task of supporting the other specifically to encourage him. Soon it developed into a residential community that mutually helped and supported. They found that this experience increases self-esteem enormously. The responsibility for ensuring, in their opinion giving. Because others do something good, means that one feels himself good.
Maintain contacts with people who are infected with her positive attitude.
Who constantly with whiners surrounds itself to a, because a bad mood is contagious. Is bitched and nagged The more, the more you boost himself into the situation. They focus entirely on the bad aspects of a thing and thereby lose the ability to put into perspective the whole and to see the context. From a small pesky matter is an endless agony in this way. Surround yourself with positive people instead.
Reward yourself and your day’s work. Celebrate successes.
All too rarely is what you have achieved, celebrates. In particular, people with low self-esteem focus on the negative things in your life. Take targeted to change that and celebrate the beautiful moments.
Make as often as possible what you love.
That what you love and what you enjoy you met and ensures an inner satisfaction.Especially if you are consistent with your own values. Because the gap between what we do and between what we want, that’s what makes us unhappy.
Image : efttappingtechniques